Well, well, well….its that time of the year again.

As is customary, the IT Nerd emerges from his dork hole after a winter’s slumber to gaze upon all the wonderful changes in the world since last season and prepare for another fantastic season.

• Get the scoring spreadsheet updated for the new season? *CHECK*
• Get Website updated for the new season? *CHECK*
• Line up a special guest for the 2020 season preview? *CHECK*
• Fresh, non-smelly water into the ball washers and fresh towels? *UNLIKELY*
• Proper drainage at Tanner to avoid mud pits on 1, 2, 9, 13, 14, 17? *HIGHLY UNLIKELY*
• Global pandemic fucking up the ENTIRE WORLD, WTF?!?!? *CHECK*

Before getting into some of the upcoming changes for this year and a 2020 preview, let’s take a quick look back at 2019. The first stats are about who was lucky or unlucky. I define unlucky as a golfer who had their opponent shot the lights out and lucky as a golfer who’s opponents shit the bed

2019 Top 5 “Lucky” golfers:

1. Tie for first: Jim Morgan and Pat Cregg: Opponents were -27 vs. their Quota against the Sandbagger, while Cregger lulled his opponents to sleep with tales of Swallow’s
2. Pat Donahue: Opponents shot -23 vs. quota as they struggled to understand how his shoes stay on his feet without being laced up.
3. Matt Lochner: -20 vs. Quota…If only the Mets were so lucky.
4. Sean “Dean” Mott: Mystified by the 427 drivers in his bag, opponents were -17 vs. Quota

2019 Top 5 “Unlucky” golfers:

1. Connor “Fireball” Brown: Seems like every saved up their best shot for Connor with opponents going +17 vs. their Quota.
2. Martin “These extra boxes of food are for my kids” Donegan: Tough second half for Marty. Opponents failed to meet their quota only once in that time, giving Marty a 1-2-7 record. Overall, his matches were +15
3. Dale Russell – Dale’s opponents were +11 vs. Quota
4. Two Tied at +10: Jack Donegan and Drew “Naughty Teacher” Prucha

Next up is the Over/Under performing golfers. What this looks at is how each golfer performed vs their Quota for each week

2019 Top 5 Over Performing golfers:

1. Connor “Fireball” Brown: Amazingly, Connor was the best performing golfer vs. Quota with a +28. With Connor finishing with a .500 record, just goes to show that winning the league is not just how you shoot, but also how your opponent shoots as well.
2. Devin “Snowflake” Carrigan: No shocker with Devin in this spot with a +23 vs. Quota. Devin was middle of the pack in terms of luck and that gave him and his team a spot in the finals. LUCK MATTERS, PEOPLE!
3. Robert “YEAH BABY!” Zaleski: With a move to the Senior Tees, Bob shot a +21 vs. his Quota
4. Pat Donahue: Laced up shoes or not, Pat had a good year by shooting +18 vs. Quota
5. DJ Mahar: Widely regarded as one of the more successful TBO players, DJ was +7 vs. Quota even with a stinker of -9 in Week 1.

2019 Top 5 Under Performing golfers

1. Jon Carroll: Bad year for a historically strong performer. Jon shot -20 vs. his quota (-2 per week). Will he be able to focus on getting back to prior glory in 2020?
2. John Mooney: Not a good year to be named John/Jon in TBO. John was -19 vs. his Quota
3. Denny Welch: Denny had an up and down year finishing -14 vs. Quota
4. Three tied at -10: Tom Donegan, Rick Fanto, Chris “El Commish” Donegan

Now that we’ve reviewed some quick stats, let’s take a final peak at the Standings from 2019.

Devin Carrigan	Dan Mahar	Mike Mahar	77	–
Steve Donegan	Matt Lochner	Joe Donegan	77	–
Craig Hawkinson	Jon Carroll	Bob Zaleski	71.5	(5.5)
Pat Donahue	Denny Welch	Jeff Raus	67	(10.0)

With the tie, we entered into a new 3-hole playoff format to determine the winner. Steve, Matt and Jaguar Joe Donegan emerged as victorious. While the IT Nerd’s pick to win it finished fourth, how did our special guest from that year call the 2019 season?

And you all thought he wasn’t paying attention to the league???

Well, Mr. President! So good to see you again this time of year. You’ve been quite a special guest for us the past few years, care to help us again this year?

How many times do I have to tell you, it’s “IT Nerd”, Mr. President! Another thing, it’s not the “China Virus”. It’s technical name is COrona VIrus 2019, aka COVID-19.

Corona Virus? You can talk? Listen, if you can hear me, please knock this shit off. We’ve got a golf league to play in the next few weeks.

Jesus, you are an insensitive prick. We’ve seen that there are a lot of proposed ways, to get rid of you. What is Tanner going to do to keep you out of our league?

Well, that doesn’t look like it’s going to help. What can I do to get rid of you?

Not a chance that’s happening. So if we’re not getting rid of you, can you at least help us with the preview for 2020? Sounds like you’ll be there whether we like it or not….Shall we dive right in to 2020?? Who’s excited folks?!

Wow, the returning champ Joe Donegan is awful excited to return and show us his breakdance moves! With Joe here, what do you think of Joe’s team of Joe, Lochner and Hawkinson?

Rough stuff for two of the defending champs! What about that third member of the defending champs Steve Donegan and his partners Chris and Bobby Mo?

Was that even a prediction? What does ‘Midas Whale’ even mean? OOOHHHHHHH, I get it….. You kids and your slang. Let’s focus on some fresh meat. How about the team with the new guy, Dan Kane, Fanto and Sandbagger Morgan?

Dan Kane is joining us to play golf, not cut hair COVID-19. What about a fan favorite team of Ryan Murphy, Jon Carroll, Tony Massa?

Grow up, COVID….How about you weigh in on my team? I like my chances this year. Denny in Flight 2 with Flight 1 talent, Paul Daniels set to dominate in Flight 3.

That is pretty harsh, 10th place!! God damnit, you are such an unrefined idiot COVID. Everyone knows it’s the ’87 merlot for the steak. You’ve been nothing but negative since you got here, how about some good news?

Thank you for those kind words, COVID. Agreed on that assessment. With Bobby in a groove from the Senior Tees and Connor regularly putting in strong performances, it’s a team to watch. Is there another team you’d peg for a strong showing this year?

Wow, on a roll here! Circling two teams to be near the top, I like it. What say we keep these positive picks flowing?

I know someone has to finish last, but that wasn’t a very nice way to do it COVID. I thought we were going to continue with the good news? Did you get distracted or something?

So I’m hearing of 3 teams in your top 5 so far (Connor/Mott/Zaleski, Dickie/Burns/Shannie, Devin/Dan/Kirkby). Who else do you have up there?

Burned by the smokes, interesting….So we’ve only got two teams left, TJ/Mooney/Tom Donegan and DJ/Dale/Mike Mahar. Who would you like to predict first?

I don’t blame TJ! As someone who was regularly teeing off at the end of the league, the rounds did take longer sometimes! Just the way it is, COVID. Well, that brings us to the last team of DJ/Dale/Mike Mahar. What are your predictions for that team?

I agree with the pick, but that zinger was just awful. I can’t deal with you anymore, COVID. I’m sorry, but you just need to go away so we can start the golf league. Vaccine is too far away and I’m not drinking #9 water, so how can I get rid of you??

No, you need to go….wait a second, I know what is going to get rid of you. Megachurch pastor Kenneth Copeland for the win??!

VICTORY!! Time to enjoy the season and hopefully each other’s company in the near future! Stay safe, stay sane out there TBO!!

-IT NERD